By Kari Williams
Going back to their home base, Lethal Wrestling Alliance had a number of high profile matches for the 115 fans to look forward to at the Knights of Columbus Hall in House Springs, MO, but none more exciting than LWA Champion “The Rebel” Jeremy Wyatt versus Dingo. But of greater importance as the show kicked off was the fact that Dr. Katz, a doctor Jewells hired, said that a number of the stars were unable to compete.
‘Future’ Donovan Ruddick, Gary the Barnowl, XXX Jordan Lacey, Shorty Biggs and Billy McNeil all came to ringside complaining about Dr. Katz’s unusual diagnosis respective of each individual. K.C. Karrington then came out and said that he got a fax on his portable fax machine from Katz stating that he could not wrestle either.
LWA President Luke Roberts addressed the situation and called Katz to ringside to reveal some disturbing information about the so-called doctor. According to Roberts, Katz had three counts of downloading child porn against him, two counts of assumming another person’s identity and 36 counts of have sex with farm animals. Upon the release of this information, Jewells revealed that she made the athletes unable to compete because they are all worthless and do not deserve to be in the main event, let alone in the ring. Roberts allowed all of the men to compete that evening and announced that when LWA returns to House Springs on Feb. 21, Lacey and Ruddick will take on Wyatt and Jewells.
Mike Sydal took on the returning Tyler Cook in the first bout of the evening. Before the match truly got underway, Cook made a comment about Sydal’s body glitter, to which Sydal replied, “I sparkle because I have such a bright future in this business.” Cook controlled the first portion of the match and had Sydal down but only for a two count. Sydal soon turned the tide, but when he missed a high impact move, he gave Cook a chance to gain momentum, which did not last long. Sydal used his wit to steal a win with a roll-up and holding the tights for extra leverage.
Commissioner Adam Raw ventured to the ring to lay down some ground rules for the upcoming six-man tag match and call the Bearded Men and the Submission Squad to ringside. Raw decided that the losing team had to break up and that they will never team together again. He then goes even further, saying that each team must pick a captain—Billy McNeil and Pierre Abernathy were named—and the captain of the losing team would never be seen in LWA again. The commissioner’s final statement was that the match would be no disqualification.
Getting back to the action, Dorian Victor wrestled Shorty Biggs, continuing their feud. These two men took the fight to each other, but the fans did not take to this match as much as their previous battles. At one point, Victor locked Biggs in a double-leg Boston crab, but Biggs reached the ropes. Victor did his best to keep Biggs down, but he could not do so for much longer, as Biggs his Victor with a boot followed by the Shortcut for the victory. Biggs then got revegne on Victor for previous low blows by returning the favor.
Up next was the No-DQ six-man tag match. Davey Vega, Pierre Abernathy and Evan Gelistico have been hellbent on ending the Bearded Men’s stable from the beginning. However, Jordan Lacey, Billy McNeil and Gary the Barnowl would not go down without a fight. All of these men fought for their lives, so to speak, as they brawled in and out of the ring. At one point, McNeil, Lacey and Gary had their opportunity—in succession—to launch across the ring and plant the Submission Squad to the ground. There was chaos everywhere, with neither team gaining a clear advantage. Near the end of the match, Gelistico threw Gary to the outside, and Gary landed hard on the ring entrance and Lacey was smashed through a table.
The match ended with Abernathy pinning Gary, but Abernathy had his feet on the ropes. Much to the dismay of the fans, the Bearded Men had to break up, but before the Submission Squad went to the back, Gelistico revealed that McNeil had taken him to Space Station Eleven and made clones of himself, one of which being Super Electro. He then went on to say that he is Gary’s father. Looking confused and upset, Gary left with the Submission Squad as McNeil thanked the LWA fans for the last time.
At intermission, LWA’s own “Spoiled” Steven Kennedy played with his band, Noiseland, much to the delight of the crowd. Noiseland played some original songs and a couple of covers. Kennedy brought Karrington out as a guest band member playing the spoons.
Before getting back to the matches, Ring Announcer Paul Parker called Roberts and Raw to ringside. Roberts had many ideas to make LWA better. Starting at the next show, bell time will be 7:00 instead of 7:30, ticket prices will be reduced on a permanent basis and beer may become only 50 cents. He also stated that he needs someone who bleeds LWA and is a former champion. Raw ruled out the choices of Frankie Big Balls, Mag Dog Dafronian and Nick Tyson, and then announced that Dingo v. Wyatt would change to a Jefferson County/House Springs Street Fight.
The Ego Express defended their tag titles against B.A.B.E.WATCH (“Thee” Brandon Espinosa and “Irresistably Flawless” Brandon Aarons) in one of the best matches of the night. B.A.B.E.WATCH has become the team to watch as the top contenders to the titles. Espinosa and Aarons did their best to come out on top, working more cohesively than they have before. However, they were not able to capture the gold on this exchange, as Kennedy and Karrington’s experience as a tag team aided them in the end. Kennedy pinned Espinosa after the Fatality and decisively ended the bout.
Follwing the impressive tag match, Mark Sterling took on Shamus O’ Flannery in a one-sided affair. Every time O’ Flannery tried to gain an advantage, Sterling used his strength to overpower him. Nonetheless, O’ Flannery did attempt to wear down Sterling by attacking Sterling’s knee, but it was not enough. Sterling locked O’ Flannery in the Markshooter and O’ Flannery had no choice but to tap out.
LWA Champion Jeremy Wyatt was in for a brutal fight against Dingo. These two men beat the hell out of each other all around the building. Fans ran from their seats and scurried away from the competitors to ensure that they were not hit. Both men scored multiple pinfalls but still could not put the other one away. Dingo and Wyatt even went so far as to bring one of the light posts that surround the ring into the match. Dingo had the title won via submission, but just as Wyatt was about to tap, he poked the referee in the eye, injuring the ref, so that the tapout would not count. He then used his trickery to steal the win with a rollup and a handful of tights. By the time the match was over, Dingo was a bloody mess and Wyatt left with the smug satisfaction that he had defeated one of the best wrestler in the Midwest. Only mere moments after the devastating brawl, Ruddick emerged and gave Wyatt a spinebuster and layed the belt across a wounded Wyatt.
LWA will return to House Springs, MO with a new start time, lower ticket prices and a tag match that you will not want to miss.